Just Because ...

Here I am. Wondering what to say. Wondering where to start . . .

Typically, words flow from my brain in such abundance. The world typically wonders if this girl ever stops, takes a breather. Of course, she's human.

My body is craving sleep, I've been deprived of this precious commodity for the past week or so. Just now, sleep is in high demand. I almost forget what the back of my eye-lids look like. hah!

To be honest, I wondered if I would survive this week. I'm just a teensy little bit out of practice of the whole working 40 some hours thing. Do you know what it is to close your eyes, feeling the world spin beneath you and hear the squealing sound of a dental drill racing through your brain? Ah, such a bothersome little thing but somehow, sleep came and rolled into another day where I got up, threw on another pair of Scrubs and did it all over again. I was working in my sleep, I tell you! But alas, here I is and no worse for the wear.

• Okay, that's sort of a lie. I'm completely exhausted and all those survival thoughts really just turned into wondering how much sleep you had to miss before your body just shuts down and dies. Rather drastic, don't you think? Children, listen! Your momma was right, sleep is IMPORTANT. This is no lie, so drink it up before you hit the real world where things like duty and responsibility demand more hours and sleep is a thing of the past.

• But God is amazing, and really helped me. He even gave me a handful of opportunities to share the gospel with a few of my patients -- I mean, they're sitting in the chair and can't really go anywhere! but these people were open and curious. It was such a blessing to be able to share my own testimony and what God has done for me!

• Went on a 12 mile bike ride yesterday under the beautiful Summer-ish Blue Sky. The thought-provoking conversation with my cousin was a big encouragement. We talked about our thought life and how we have to leave things in God's hands. And as always, he kind of really just inspires me. I love that about spending time with him, he's a Godly guy who has such an overwhelming desire to serve the Lord. Crazy how all the little conversations we have on the weekends turn into mini-devotions. * smiles *

• Then came Sunday. There is one thing about my little Sunday School class of 6 & 7 year olds, and that would be that our class goes in whatever direction their minds and attitudes are. I'm never sure just what to expect but always enjoy the lessons we learn from each other. Today, I had a lesson prepared as we gear up for Easter in just a few weeks.

We opened up with a handful of praises {because I believe that its important to really focus on what God does for them while they are young. And as they grow older, focusing on their blessings will come so much more naturally for them!} and a few prayer requests. We began to discuss Heaven as we opened up our lesson and two of my little ones with sparkling eyes began to grow excited as we began talking about different aspects of Heaven; no tears, no heartache, no sickness, no scary things, no bad stuff. * winks *

On top of that, they began talking about how they could be a better witness to their unsaved family even when they got frustrated with them. Wow. I needed that so bad! I haven't been the witness I should be.

• Forgiveness can make a person feel so much lighter inside, even if getting things right is sometimes hard. I can tell you one thing, I feel a whole lot better. Because after all, you don't read my ramblings just to get a facade of what I want to be. You guys deserve a heavy dose of honesty, so there you have it.

• The Lord's supper is one of the sweetest things I will ever experience. It fills my heart with conviction | brokenness | overwhelming peace and realization anew of what an amazing thing God did for me when he died! Mmm ... there are no words to describe the feeling in my heart right now.

• I have to stop asking why. It's one of those things where I just have to let Go and let GOD! Easier said than done, but Paul was such a human because he said that we have to recommit ourselves every day because its a choice. Thank you, Lord, for putting so many practical people in the Bible for me!

• And those times when my heart is hurting, God is the best bandaid. I don't mean that in a blasphemous way, I just mean that to a simple {imperfect sinner} girl like me, God is just the very best. There is no other that can do the wonderful things my Heavenly Father does for me!

Now, that's a whole lot to process I'm sure, but I had a lot on my heart and mind and the above is just a jumbled up peek into my life at the moment. It's such a crazy hectic, fantastic life God has given me and he's just chipping away all those rotten pieces that aren't very Heavenly. * smiles *